Welcome to Open Tab, a weekly collection of updates, rumors, and narratives that have lingered open in my tabs throughout the week. Last week, we discussed the president’s DoorDash delivery.
If you caught last week’s edition of Open Tab, you’re in for a treat as we kick off this week’s edition by wrapping up some unfinished business. First up, the Philz Coffee Pride flag situation—which I assure you will not be mentioned again—is finally resolved. A message from Philz Coffee that landed in my inbox last week stated, among other things, “every Pride flag that is currently displayed will remain in place, and any Pride flag that was taken down can be raised again.” Complaining pays off!
The discussion on rotisserie chicken prices is still making waves—this time in governmental circles. A bipartisan proposal named the Hot Rotisserie Chicken Act is being introduced in the US Senate. The proposed law would permit SNAP beneficiaries to purchase hot rotisserie chicken—as of now, they can only buy cooked but cooled chickens.
Lastly, Nara Smith, the original traditional wife, has revealed that she will be launching a cookbook this October. Finally, everyone will discover what I, the offspring of a granola mom, have always known: The homemade variations of junk food just don’t taste as good. They really don’t—unless you happen to be Claire Saffitz, perhaps.
This week also brings: Prego aims to record your dinner discussions, and Jia Tolentino engaged in some casual shoplifting. Chaos followed. Moreover, Wagyu has lost some of its former glory, and lab-grown meat encounters a few obstacles.
Prego, known for its pasta sauce, is launching a device akin to Alexa called The Connection Keeper, designed to record your conversations at the dinner table. It purports to offer a screen-free method to “capture the laughter, stories, and moments that occur organically over a meal,” yet it feels unmistakably like a surveillance initiative. It is not Wi-Fi enabled and lacks cloud connectivity, but users are encouraged to upload their discussions to a StoryCorps website.
Personally, the idea of recording my private conversations and sharing them anywhere feels unsettling—websites can (and often do!) get hacked, leading to data breaches or sales. Wait, let me readjust my tinfoil hat.
New Yorker staff writer Jia Tolentino (and occasional BA contributor) appeared on the New York Times podcast The Opinions this week, and in an episode literally titled “The Rich Don’t Play by the Rules. So Why Should I?” she confessed to occasionally pocketing one or two items from Whole Foods. The mega-chain (owned by Amazon), as Tolentino claims, factors in this type of minor shoplifting anyway. The New York Post took issue, describing it as a “stunning revelation” that Tolentino had taken a few lemons.
Yes, theft is wrong. However, Tolentino is far from the only individual who has ever experimented with shoplifting at Whole Foods. Why else would they have established Whole Foods jail? Additionally, as Bon Appétit reported in 2023, some staff support your shoplifting. You’ve never tasted a grape in the produce section? You’ve never inadvertently scanned a banana without paying for it at self-checkout? Go ahead! Take a risk! Ed. note: For legal purposes, this is humorous.
If you’ve been dining out lately, it’s likely that Wagyu has appeared on your plate. It might have been presented as an expensive addition to an upscale tasting experience, or maybe you tried it when it was featured at Arby’s. It’s the protein of the moment, but as it has basked in the limelight, non-Japanese Wagyu has started to dominate the market.
