Welcome to Open Tab, your weekly compilation of food and entertainment updates. Last week, we explored Hillary Duff’s Diet Coke conspiracy theories.
Operating a restaurant can do peculiar things to one’s mind. To clarify, I’ve never managed a restaurant, but I have to imagine it scrambles your brain completely. What other reason would lead these chefs to undertake such bizarre actions? How can we explain Redzepi’s yelling at, hitting, and poking his staff with kitchen tools? What could justify David Chang’s extreme screaming and shouting? Or the choice to offer patrons jam infested with mold?
That was my only explanation for the chaos that erupted from LA’s Horses in 2023 (don’t fret, we’ll delve into it). After three years of speculation and whispers, we finally have a statement from the accused, Will Aghajanian, as detailed by Kelly Loudenberg at AirMail. At last, we get an answer to the question that has lingered in my mind for years: Did he really kill the cats?
This week, we’ll also discuss the investigation into the AI-generated fruit and vegetable nonsense that’s been dominating feeds; we must address Zohran Mamdani’s mukbang; and we’ve uncovered perhaps the most surprising location for outstanding wine in Southern California. Keep reading to discover where.
For those unfamiliar, Horses was one of those trendy, hard-to-reserve, celebrity-infested dining spots in LA. Until the allegations surfaced. I recall the day in late May 2023 when the news about Horses emerged. It started with a few comments in group chats, then more discussions around the office… followed by increasingly intense conversations. The gossip was as follows: Johnson and Aghajanian, the formerly married co-owners, obtained restraining orders against each other, each accusing the other of emotional and physical abuse, and alleging that they had killed multiple pet cats.
“It was like they’d adopt a kitten, and then two weeks later that kitten would die. Then they got another kitten two weeks after that. And then that one died. After the third cat, we were kind of like, why are all the cats perishing?” [sic] reads a statement from someone who used to work with the couple, in Ezra Marcus’ explosive report from 2023.
Now we are seeing the conclusion. In this week’s Airmail article, for which Johnson declined interview requests, Loudenberg indicates her investigation found no evidence of cat torture or killing. Johnson did, reportedly, turn to witchcraft—a protection spell over the establishment, and a curse on Aghajanian. The article outlines claims of years of dreadful behavior (restaurants lead to scrambled minds, see above).
Perhaps I’m the fool for presuming that the individual who ran a campaign focused on posting (and, yes, policy, please don’t shout at me!) would cease posting once assuming office. Clearly, I was mistaken. Just this week, he live-streamed the first-ever mukbang in New York City’s City Hall. The stream was the Mayor’s Office’s method of commemorating a settlement with several retailers that will return “$2 million to workers, mostly fast-food employees, over 800 of them throughout New York City,” as stated by commissioner Sam Levine, who joined Mamdani in the video.
The duo dove eagerly into a couple of Crunchwrap Supremes and two large cups of vibrant cyan Baja Blast. While it was satisfying to observe our mayor consume Taco Bell, I discovered one troubling detail: Mamdani has some peculiar opinions about steak. “I even like sour cream with steak,” he declared mid-mukbang. Diabolical.
