Departing the home
Smart speakers provide a valuable support for parents, whether it’s for setting a timer (children appear to be oddly compliant with them) or seeking help from Alexa with homework when kids put you in a bind. However, reader Katie Matthews has found a way to improve the parenting game. “I used to have to incessantly remind the kids to exit the house,” she states. “Now, our Google speaker gives a five-minute alert before we need to head out. They understand it’s their cue to finish up when they hear that warning. Then the speaker chimes in with, ‘Shoes on, let’s go!’ when it’s departure time. It has really changed our mornings.”
Essential mealtime practices
Getting your child to tolerate the ordeal of consuming the meals provided with care can be challenging. However, this delightful tip comes highly recommended by author Holly Bourne: “Creating ‘ice-cream’ for breakfast from blended avocado, banana, strawberries, and full-fat Greek yoghurt has made a significant difference. It’s vital not to ‘deceive’ kids into healthy eating, so she assists us in preparing it and observes what goes into the blender, yet she seems fine with it being turned into ice-cream.”
While some of us worry about snacks, reader Sarah de Malplaquet has found that offering her six-year-old a snack platter of raw veggies before dinner has enhanced mealtime experiences. “He willingly chomps through veggies he’d ignore at dinner, and then there’s less pressure when we sit down to eat since we already know he’s had a variety of vegetables.”
And if the dining table feels like a combat zone, Sue from Norwich has a recommendation: “When sharing a delicious treat between two boys, one can cut while the other chooses which half they would prefer.”
Some parents have found much success by actually allowing their children to take charge of cooking. Jo from Berkshire recounts: “When my son reached seven, his grandmother taught him to whip up a cheese omelette, and now he makes that for breakfast for the whole family at every chance he gets, as it gives him a sense of responsibility. There’s something about assigning a role to kids that motivates them – they see it as something adult and perhaps a bit thrilling! That has been a notable parenting achievement.”
Excursions
Nadia from London proposes an idea so enjoyable that you’ll want to plan a day out immediately. “I’ve always enjoyed museums,” she shares, “but they can feel too much for kids. For years, I’ve done something I call ‘playing postcards’. We approach the museum in reverse, starting at the gift shop. Each child picks three postcards. Then they take turns to locate that specific artwork in the museum and share a bit of information about the piece based on what’s written on the postcard or any information from the gallery plaques. At the end of this treasure-hunt-like activity, we vote for our favorite in the café.”
If deciding where to go becomes an ordeal, Deb from Dorset allows her kids to have a say – and younger ones typically choose the last of three options, so keep that in mind. “They’re genuinely pleased it’s their decision,” she adds. “If you have multiple children, ensure they’re aware of whose turn it is to pick and strictly enforce that – children appreciate fairness.”
Hygiene tips
When addressing kids’ personal hygiene, Pip from London offers, “‘Try for three, then ask for me’ is an excellent mantra – it has been particularly effective for toilet training.”
For younger children, Caroline from Derby advises, “When trimming a baby’s nails, place them in a high chair so you have both hands free to hold onto a squirmy baby arm – this approach works well for brushing teeth and giving medicine too.”
To entice kids into the bath, Anna from Manchester suggests something like: “I wager you can’t hop into the bath by the time I reach ten – and if you do, I’ll perform a silly dance.” Struggling to coax them out again? Try this from Catherine in Birmingham: “My baby dislikes exiting the bath, which used to lead to tantrums before bed. Now we say goodbye to the bath toys and remove them one by one as the water drains. She ends up happily seated in an empty tub and is ready to transition to the next step of the bedtime routine.”
And if you’ve been worn down by pursuing hesitant kids with SPF, reader Carly shares this brilliant tip: “Use a tanning mitt to apply sunscreen or moisturizer. It takes about 30 seconds to cover a whole body and it goes on more smoothly.”
Making play enjoyable
To alleviate the monotony of parenting, Julia Pegg from Sheffield recommends: “When I find myself struggling through my 87th reading of Paw Patrol: Pups Save Adventure Bay, I envision myself as a minor celebrity on CBeebies Bedtime Story. I look into the ‘camera’ and deliver the performance of a lifetime. I can suddenly manage voices, tone, and inflection much more effortlessly, conveying all the emotions I can muster. It might seem silly, but it truly brightens up the routine.”
Sean, a headmaster and father of two, shares a perspective that aids him: “I remind myself that one day they won’t request me to play Lego or dinosaurs – and that helps me appreciate it while I can.”
Dental dilemmas
“My two-year-old despised having her teeth brushed,” shares reader Megan. “Now, every time we brush her teeth, I pretend to be a veterinarian and she decides which animal she wishes to emulate. So, while I brush her teeth, she roars at me like a lion or a tiger, and we have a blast!”
Hannah Ostroumoff from Bristol states that changing the recommended “pea-size” dollop of toothpaste to “a tiny bit” has proved “miraculous” for her son, gradually increasing the amount as he adjusts.
Simply behave!
There are times when you’d do anything to make your kids stop arguing, yelling, or creating havoc. “When the kids are driving me to the edge, I remember a tip a friend gave me: take them outside or put them in water, whether that’s a bath or splashing with a water gun,” says Katharine from Exeter. “Changing the environment truly aids in easing a tantrum.”
Emily from London engages in “you’re not allowed to laugh” games when her three children start to escalate. The concept is that kids can express their sadness or anger freely, but they must not laugh. “Any smile or chuckle, and we quickly respond with ‘No laughing, you’re supposed to be upset!’ Usually within minutes, they’re all laughing uproariously. I can’t explain why it works, but it has saved me countless times.”
For older children, Jo from Berkshire discovered her kids really embraced a Dragons’ Den-style approach that prompts them to contemplate their ongoing demands: “We got stamps that read ‘approved’ and ‘denied’, so if the kids desire something or wish to convince us of anything, they must compose a proposal – which has proven beneficial for my son who has dyslexia and isn’t fond of writing – and submit it. Then they receive a stamp, regardless of whether they’re getting it or not.”
Opening up
Encouraging your child to express their concerns is a constant source of anxiety for parents, regardless of their children’s ages. For adolescents, Vic from London finds this method effective: “When my daughters encounter stress from school or friendship dilemmas, I ask if they’d prefer my advice or if they simply want me to listen – 90% of the time, they just need me to listen. They’ve managed to articulate some of their feelings, and I gain better insight into their lives.”
During the primary years, Ainslie from Bristol advocates for “golden time.” “At bedtime, after we’ve brushed teeth and read stories, there’s a calm moment when we cuddle up,” she explains. “This is golden time when, should they choose, the kids can express anything, inquire about anything, or confess anything without fear of being judged or facing repercussions. They don’t always utilize it – but it’s available if needed.”
Lorraine Candy, a writer and host of the podcast Postcards from Midlife, proposes a straightforward adjustment she made when conversing with teens: “Instead of asking ‘What did you do today?’, try ‘How do you feel today?’ when you want to initiate a discussion.”
Staying connected
Encouraging a teenager to converse with you face-to-face is one challenge – maintaining communication outside the home is another. Candy’s trick to elicit responses from her kids is eye-opening. “They often don’t reply when you inquire about their whereabouts, what they’re doing, or when you need confirmations from them!” she notes. “What does prompt a response is sending a picture. When my eldest went Interrailing, I anticipated limited communication, but every time I sent a photo of the dog in her bedroom or one of her siblings doing something silly, she replied. Questions can feel prying, but images of home life offer reassurance and comfort, strengthening their connection to you and igniting the conversations you want to have.”
Complaints about screen time
While some of us quickly snatch away iPads under the pretense that they “need charging,” Chloe from London has elevated this tactic by installing an inexpensive wifi smart plug behind her TV, which she can control via an app on her phone. “No more grappling over the remote from their grip, and no more outbursts, as it becomes just ‘the TV turning itself off after X minutes’,” she explains.
Lauren from Essex suggests turning off the wifi as well: “At times, I claim it’s broken. I frequently change the screen-time passwords, as they seem to decipher them quickly. I often just tuck the iPads away – and then forget where I hid them, which is a perk.”
