The prosecution: Jenna
Dave ought to welcome fresh experiences, rather than constantly holding on to what is familiar
My partner, Dave, and I typically reside in London, but we’ve begun to spend half the year in Barcelona during the winter months. I appreciate the freedom it offers, yet we differ in our methods of maintaining home comforts while abroad.
I firmly believe Dave should adjust more to Barcelona to fully enjoy it. Upon arriving at our apartment this year, the furnishings seemed a bit outdated. Consequently, Dave decided to remedy that by purchasing a bunch of blankets. He layered them over everything. Dave mentioned he was concealing the worn furniture, but now the flat resembles less of a Barcelona residence and more of a British student accommodation. He believes I’m simply being picky and labels me a snob.
I recognize our varying tastes, and there is a unique charm in the disorder, but his idea of comfort appears too much of a hodgepodge, and it feels like he’s exerting too much effort to recreate a sense of home from the UK.
The blankets symbolize a larger issue, though. I think Dave is overly attached to his home comforts and doesn’t strive enough to embrace new experiences. Each time we travel, he packs so many items from Britain that I start to question: what’s the rationale in coming abroad? He insists on bringing jerk seasoning, Marmite, and Mini Cheddars. While I enjoy those items, I don’t think we require them when situated in a country with superior local produce.
Carrying all these food products from home restricts our opportunities to explore new flavors. I view travel and living in alternative areas as a chance to step outside one’s comfort zone, while Dave seems to favor playing it safe.
We’ve been partners for nine years, and he has always exhibited this behavior. I find it somewhat amusing, but I dislike him occupying packing space with teabags and snacks. Dave ought to expand his horizons and sample local specialties. The blankets adorning our furnishings and the British snacks he’s brought lead me to believe he should be more open to new experiences.
We are not in Barcelona to duplicate our lives in London. He should cease attempting to transpose our previous preferences here.
The defence: Dave
We are abroad for six months each year, thus I prefer to take familiar items. Jenna’s merely being a snob
Jenna is one of those extensively travelled individuals who enjoys instructing everyone else on how to savor their trips. She can’t believe there are British cafes in Spain serving a full English, and she’s astonished when she spots British people consuming sausage and chips here.
I jokingly label her a snob, but I understand her viewpoint. One should embrace the local culture while traveling. However, people should be allowed to enjoy their experiences in whatever manner they prefer. Not everyone wishes to spend their mornings deciphering a Catalan menu.
I like to feel at home even when away. I bring everything, apart from the kitchen sink. I want my slippers, my favorite tea, my Mini Cheddars. Jenna, on the other hand, acts as if she’s a backpacker who must keep everything minimal.
It was her suggestion to engage in hybrid living. We’re Irish but reside in London, so we both possess EU passports – we can simply sublet our flat and be on our way. She claims we aren’t establishing a life abroad, merely living elsewhere for six months, but half a year is not just a weekend trip. At times she neglects to bring critical items like socks, a phone charger, or a decent jacket, and I have to resist the urge to remark, “I told you so.”
Regarding decorating the flat, I take charge as I am the one who shops. I purchased blankets to instill warmth, and it’s my personal way of nesting. Jenna reacted as if I’d brought home a collection of rags.
Our differing styles were never a problem back at home, yet here she desires the shabby old furniture to be visible to “allow the Spanish vibe to shine through.” What Spanish vibe? It’s all worn-out items that don’t exemplify Barcelona, yet Jenna behaves as if we might offend the locals. I don’t care about impressing tourists – it’s our home.
I believe home comforts are crucial when living abroad. They create a sense of stability in a new environment. I’m likely more of a homebody than Jenna, but I’m also enthusiastic about traveling and residing abroad. Jenna suggests my behavior is somewhat strange and that I’m not being “present” in our new environment, yet for me, it’s about finding equilibrium and integrating the old with the new.
The jury of Guardian readers
Should Dave put in more effort to integrate into the Barcelona lifestyle?
A potential compromise could involve purchasing British items from local shops to free up packing space. Jenna appears to be more of a free spirit eager to embrace both the locals and their culture. Given Dave’s willingness to conform to her ideas, perhaps she should consider accepting some of his?
Mousumi, 53
As Dave and Jenna head to Barcelona for six months a year, I feel he should be able to bring along some “home comforts.” It’s commendable that he acknowledges Jenna’s perspective on embracing the local culture; therefore, they might consider shopping together for some Spanish furnishings.
Katharine 73
Jenna’s perception of Barcelona seems curated, nearly costume-like, while Dave actively rejects adaptation. He has made living abroad merely an exercise in exporting his everyday routines, shutting himself off from the surrounding culture. Residing in a different country is about broadening one’s horizons, not merely bringing familiar comforts along.
Daniel, 45
I often find myself yearning for a burger and chips when away from the UK for extended periods, so I relate to Dave. Jenna appears to be overly stringent regarding this matter. Why can’t he take his slippers along with him?
Janine, 39
Having some personal comforts while traveling is pleasant. Reading between the lines, it seems Dave doesn’t want to leave at all! So, if he’s already making compromises, Jenna should give him a break!
Anna, 24
